If things weren’t meant to be~ it’ll not be a happy ending~

actualli i can tink of a lot of reasons to break up with him..

1) not celebrating my bdae~ brought mi to a fishing pond to fish~ and its MY bdae~ well… i tot if he’s happy den y not~ so unhappines forgotten.

2)asked mi wat i wanted for bdae~ my bdae is in aug~ now is dec~ i havent even seen any of my bdae present ~!~!~

3) Always arranging his own schedule ~ and slotting mi into whichever available slot~ good!!!!!

4) Said i wanted to see fireworks on NYE, he juz called mi at the last min~ to tell mi that he’s gng for his company dinner~ and i had to find my own programs~ PLUS he’s gng to play mahjong on fri~ and so~…. i’m so HONOURED to have his last slot on SAT to go out~ AND tt is after his FISHING BUDDY session!!! GOOD!!!!!

5) After so long tgt~ he tells mi~ he wanna settle down after he finish fishing all the seas~!~!~ i’ve got god damn many years to wait eh!!!!

6)Telling mi his DECISION and not discussion~ tt he’s gng china to work~ the land of TEMPTRESS!!!! how u want mi to react normally~ hey all gals~ can u tell mi~ if u’re bf or husband is gg china to work~ will you say~ come i pay for the air tix and u board the next available flight and usher him through the boarding gate????!!?!?!?!

7)After wating for him through the whole night from 7pm all the way to 3am~ to tell mi that i’m to behave like a thief the next day~ juz becos he forgot~!~!~!~!~~ GREaT!!!

8)I said i wanted to go pet farm~ from god knows how many months ago till now ~ he said~ oK~ next time go~ till now~… i can go in wonderland~

9)I AM JUZ NOBODY TO HIM~!~!~ juz somebody to fill in the empty slots in his dayS~!~

10)Doesnt care abt my feeling~ unhappy juz dun talk~ if not juz say~ den wat u want~ best~!!!~ if u wanna discuss something with him~ juz forget it~ either u listen to wat he says~ or you juz dun say anything~ If not he’ll juz give the buay song looK and start driving arnd like mad~ or throwing his temper which is far worse den mine~ so i always choose to SHUT UP!!!!

11)Promised mi since last yr tt we’ll go taiwan for hols TGT in may2009. but den now he tells mi~ most likely cannot go already~ actualli is confirm cannot go! y make a promise wen u cannot fulfill it~ den how can i trust tt he can fulfill the most impt promise~ the wedding vow~

12)To cut my own sufferings and reduce my own tears~ at least i cry another mth or two~ life goes back to normal~ betta den i’m still with him wen he’s in china and i’ll have to cry every night~ not knowing wat he’s doing, who’s he’s with~ i can no longer trust~ not tt i dun want to~ but two veri bad cases can happen in sg~ many more can happen without my knowledge there~ I know love is blind~ but i cant turn tt blind~

13) I cant remember how we celebrated vdae this yr~ not bcos i had bad memory~ u guys know how good is my memory~ but its juz so ordinary~ tt i juz cant recall~ bcos he doesnt put in extra effort on vdae, nor anniversaries~ wen’s the last time i recieved flowers? veri long ago~ wen he’s in auz~ his reason~ flowers are ex on vdae~ which i agree… den how abt normal days??? his reason for giving flowers is onli wen he’s overseas~ he feels the need to give~ there’s no nid to give wen both pple are in sg~ hmm… good enuff reason for u guys?

14) His priorites in life is fishing, friends, family… den even i also have to stop and ponder~ do i even i have a slot in his priorities… I tink NO! bcos~ he hasnt any plans for our future~ its juz tt~ he feels i will ALWAYS be there~ so NO WORRIES lor! i juz do finish wateva i want~ turn back she’s there~ so iz there a nid to place mi into his priorities in life and make his life more worrysome~ NOPE!

15)I cant find anyone who says~ yeah~ u shld stay with him wen he goes china~ everyone tt i speak to asks~ wen he goes china~ wad happen to u? The answer is~ NOTHING! cos he is onli informing mi that he’s juz taking long leave from mi~ that’s all. My feelings is not in his point of consideration~ itz onli no FISHING dere! and how much potential income he’ll have~ how successful will his biz be~ and i’m NOT in the equation~ get it?

Tml is the last day of the year~ mayb i should choose to harden my heart~ dump the guy who’ll juz waste my time~ bcos i’m juz someone to fill in the empty slot of his life~

And 01/01/09 will be another new beginning~ another new life for mi~!~ happier~ lesser unhappiness~ and the best thing is ~ i’m free to plan for wat i want~ who i want to go out with~ where i want to go~ and dump that stupid useless emotional burden that brings mi nothing but tears!!!!!

Yesterday i was so sad~

i dunno wat happen again???  Did i piss him off again? he still ignoring mi.

Giving mi the cold shoulder again~ talk to him~ he either give  mi one word answer… or reply mi harshly~

ask him is he angry with mi~ he say no~

but den go watch movies~ u got see couples sitting in the couple sit~ but each one sit at one end ? go up escalator~ one in front~ the other behind???

i have so many question marks in my mind~ but yet i cannot ask him~

later he say he got so many things to tink and focus~ i still go and bother him~

its juz so so tiring trying to maintain a relationship….